Today’s unadoptable, Nash, is a hugger. Unlike your annoying friend who two Coronas deep insists that he “really loves you, bro”, this yellow longhair doesn’t need catnip to let his feelings show. Walk in the room and he’ll rise up and wrap his paws around your leg like a favorite nephew. Drop down to the carpet and he’ll throw his paws around your neck and more often than not, climb aboard for a ride. Admittedly, it’s startling to have a cat work you like Bill Clinton before Hillary and hashtags put him on lockdown, but Nash’s intentions are pure when he’s invading your space and who among us couldn’t use go to source of positive affirmation?
So why is he unadoptable? Nash’s shortcoming is that his eyes run, so every few days he shows up looking like Alice Cooper after an August concert or you that night you ran into your ex with that trampy Kappa Delta six days after you told him it was over. Nash cleans up quicker than either you or Alice, but still, it’s a problem when you’re trying to make a good first impression at PetSmart. That said, anyone who’s experienced Nash’s routine leaves with a smile, a post-worthy selfie and vastly improved sense of self-worth. A few dabs with a paper towel every couple of days seems like a small sacrifice to make for that. Nash.