Earlier today, we were tagged in a post about a kitten trapped in an abandoned car on a Southeast Fresno side street. Previous efforts to free the little one had failed, and after pressing the poster for the location, I made a note to stop by when I could.
Like most days, this one spun into a series of distractions, and as I prepared to head into my paying job, I remembered I owed the little one a look. There wasn’t much to go on other than the kitten was somewhere in the car, so I tossed a trap, net, food and other gear onboard and headed over to see if I could sort it out.
Onsite, the howling confirmed I was in the right spot, but the limited clearance between the car and the pavement made it tough to narrow the exact location. Hoping for an easy out, I scooped some pate onto a plate, placed it on a net and slid it under the car toward the wailing, but after a few minutes, it was clear that this ragamuffin wasn’t falling for it and I’d have to try a different angle.
By now it was getting dark, so I did what any guy in cufflinks trying to pry a kitten from a battered Kia Sorrento would do if similarly situated and called Joey Phipps at work for assistance. Joey was in the weeds behind the bar, but after describing the situation and assuring his supervisor it was a matter of life or death, perhaps mine, Joey was on his way with a jack. “Be there in ten…”
Joey acknowledged my net fail with a polite smirk, positioned a jack under a rear wheel and in less than a minute levered the SUV high enough to slide underneath on a piece of cardboard left behind by a previous attempt. A few seconds later, I heard an “Hi, guy…What are you doing?” and after emerging for gloves, Joey slid back under, engaged the kitten in more small talk and slid back out with his grungy prize in scruff. Nothing to it.
With Joey corralling the little one faster than the locals could boost your rims, I’d like to think I could at least take focused photos for the flex, but after bungling that as well, I dropped the ragamuffin into a carrier and talked Joey into an effort to trap a Bengal cat a few minutes away. We whiffed that one for now—Joey’s still muttering about it, “I was so close to having him…”—but Kia Kat is safe, and we now have a fine piece of cardboard in the street rescue toolkit.
As a final note, I’m not saying we’re privileged, but if you’re looking to jack a car in Southeast Fresno, consider wearing a monogrammed shirt with Burberry cufflinks or a Club One Casino bartending uniform. Based on our experience, no one’s gonna care and they’re certainly not calling the cops. Kia Kat.
